Wanna break free of the NY resolutions?
Hands up if you ate all the mince pies? Never mind! January is not the month to go cold turkey, it’s the time to be kind to yourself.
Doing Dry January this year? Still managing to stick to your resolutions and avoid the booze/Xmas cake/last of the Ferrero Rocher? Hats off to you! But it’s not called the season of plenty for nothing now is it? And if you can’t think of anything worse than making a hard month harder, then you will like – no, make that ADORE – Bianca Flood from Truwellbeing’s advice on being kind to yourself as the best way to get through the month we love to hate.
1. Ban the New Year resolutions – 62% (ref) of us do not make resolutions and most of those that do give up by January 12th. Why? because usually making a resolution means deprivation or discomfort. Make a commitment in 2020 to do things that make you feel better about yourself (and you want to do), like scheduling a massage or a night away once a month.
2. Focus on what you’re doing well – When you lie in bed at night, after an exhausting day at work, running after the kids – take time to think about what you’ve achieved. We are all busy spinning plates, instead of looking at the one you dropped, or the ones you must spin tomorrow, looked at all that you’re managing to keep spinning. Take time to say well done to yourself for all that you have achieved.
3. Change the tune – If you find yourself saying ‘I can’t’, ‘I should’ ‘I’ll never’ then it’s probably time to change the way you speak to yourself. Retrain a negative inner voice by asking ‘what can I do’ and ‘what do I choose’. You are in the driving seat of your life and instead of thinking ‘I’ve got so much to do’ focus on what are going to do, even if it’s just three. Be your biggest cheerleader, you are amazing!
4. Look for the feedback, not the failure – So what if you drank too much or ate all the mince pies, chances are you enjoyed it. And if you really wish you hadn’t now, beating yourself up won’t make help you do things better; it will just get you down. Instead of hating yourself for it, choose to learn from it and put things in place so when you’re in the same situation next Xmas (or next week when left over mince pies are in the office!) you can do things differently.
5. Take time for you – Prioritise your needs and do things that are important for you. Meet a friend, go for a walk, get some hugs, stroke a pet – all these things make you feel good. If it’s too hard to go out when the weather is awful, notice how cleaning the house helps you feel on top of things and is great exercise as well.
6. Set realistic expectations – It’s probably not realistic to do everything you think you ‘should’ be doing. Aiming to be Annabel Karmel in the kitchen, be Nigella to your husband, be a gym bunny, dress impeccably and have an immaculate house is exhausting. Something has to give. Work out what you capable of doing in the time you have. Some people find it helps to divide their time into a pie chart. For example, instead of feeling guilty that you’re not superwoman, make a 4-week meal plan, batch cook for the freezer and be OK with the occasional ready meal. Then you can use the time for something else.
Want to hear more?
Bianca Flood is an award winning and accredited life coach who can help you move forward with balance, confidence and control in your life. She’s worked with hundreds of clients to help them to live the life they want and overcome stress, anxiety and depression. Why not give her a call today?